The Buried Sun

I was sitting on the steel bench. Nothing unusual about that. The sun had just buried itself, ready to cast its familiar rays on the opposite side of the world.

A meeting was set, and I was anxious. I was happy to be given a task that would allow me to exercise some of my leadership skills and my organizing capabilities. My friends and I were set, for the meeting, of course, and for nothing other than the meeting. So I wasn't ready for what followed.

You walked near me, approaching the meeting as if to start it with your smile. Well, did you really smile? Maybe it was just in my head. I'm not really sure; a lot of craziness and hallucinations are involved in that kind of situation. I guess I'll never be sure.

My heart froze and breathing seemed impossible even at the glance of your eyes. Your eyes, yes, your deep eyes that seem to have a language of its own, oh how I've dreamed of staring at them every day as I wake up. You fixed your face on mine and our eyes met. And at that moment, time seemed irrelevant. It was as if a mixture of all the love songs in the world were playing in my head, a choir of heavenly angels was singing, and flashes of forever came to my mind and I was in complete euphoria. Sounds corny, I know, but I never knew something like that would or could happen. That gaze changed my life. That glimpse of forever rendered me numb to the fact that I was sitting on a cold steel bench, numb to the fact that when I came home that night and slept, I would be dreaming of that moment for two years, numb to the fact that we were doomed to fall apart; that we could never be. And now, even after all that has happened, you're still the one I want to grow old with. I guess I am numb, big time.

So here I am, sitting on this same old steel bench staring at the spot where your face was once gazing upon me. It has been two years, but the heat of that stare has endured. How could I beat myself over the fact that the heart isn't as smart as it ought to be? How can I punish myself for dreaming? For hoping? And who was to think that I could ever feel this way so strongly about someone? Even I am unfamiliar to the feelings of this heart that I own. And one has to wonder, will anybody ever learn how love really is? I mean, seriously.


I always thought I lacked courage, and never have I thought I would be able to muster so much courage with you. But as we go through life, we do indeed find out more about ourselves, about life, about God, and those realizations make desperate situations worth going through. And I found out, among other things, that I do not lack courage and that on that day, we did gaze upon each other's face, but we didn't really see eye-to-eye. And so after all that has been said and done, we headed different directions.

Now, just like the buried sun on that fateful day, you are on the opposite side of the world.

That's alright with me because I have this hope and I dare say that this hope shall never die. A hope that tells me that one sweet day, we will be staring at each other's faces and we will finally be able to see eye-to-eye. And the buried sun will no longer be.